welcome to indonesia, a girl from hell.

may i speak to your man for a second?
thank you.


HEY YOU. YOUR SILENCE SPEAKS VOLUME, YOU KNOW! BY THE WAY, I HAVE A NEW YEAR WISHES. WISH I COULD LEAVE YOU A REAL LONG GOODBYE.

figure it out

u now know what u don't know.
u now know there's a hate after love.

u now know there's no other-half...
after all these years you hold on to the faith he's existed.

u now believe you're powerless...
after all these years you stubbornly keep the statement that u must be on top.

u now know,u have no sacred love...
have no sacred prayer.
u now know, when u swear at anytime he will feel sorry hurting you.

Sajak Timur Sinar Suprana

Timur Sinar Suprabana:





sendiri





sendiri, diamdiam, pelanpelan

dia punguti jejakjejak perasaan cinta

yang tak kunjung menemu saat kapan

bisa terutara dengan mesra



:apa lagikah yang masih hendak kaukata

jika bahkan dedaun di beranda

dan bungabunga yang mekar di mata

tak lagi saling bersenda



lalu angin lekap di jendela kaca

hingga cuaca tak terbaca

dan segala yang terperam

pelahan mulai lebam



sungguh sunyi, bisikmu,

ketika Rindu tersedu

airmatanya leleh Ungu

:di kalbu



menyembilu!

What happened with my Life when "Someday" song by MLTR hits

In my search for freedom
And peace of mind
I’ve left the memories behind
Wanna start a new life
But it seems to be rather absurd
When I know the truth
Is that I always think of you
it's bitter-sweet.
it was my early teen era.
it was when i look into mirror to search prettiness.
it was the first time i've got the fans, flattering words, boasting, surprise presents, and i feel scared, awkward, but happy at the same time.
it was the first time i have my idol, dreaming night and day, smile like crazy, compete with so many girls in school
it was when i heard "crash-boom-bang" everyday in my house.
it was when i start running from the truth.



Someday someway
Together we will be baby
I will take and you will take your time
We’ll wait for our fate
Cos’ nobody owns us baby
We can shake we can shake the rock
it was the first time i hold my life on my best friend.
it was when i know Candu as my best friend.
it was when i called Candu, distract Candu all the time after school, just begging for happiness.
it was when i swallow all things I got from Candu as a "Happiness".
it was when I'm so happy in school and so brokenhearted at home
it was the era when i left my sister most of times
it was the starting point i fell in love
it was the starting point i lost my faith
it was the starting point Candu gave me a RollerCoaster riding
it was the starting point i'm addicted with the roller coaster

Try to throw the picture
Out of my mind
Try to leave the memories behind
Here by the ocean
Wave’s carry voices from you
Do you know the truth
I am thinking of you too
it was the point i start to banned my parents from my "trusted-friend" list
it was the era i start to leave God
it was my first experienced chopping my face with blade
it was my first experienced having sensation of being kissed
it was when i feel excited becoming sick by something else than "broken-home" thing.
it was when i struggle accepting "affair", that i could not even understand what it is
it was the first time i try to calm my self seeing mother went crackers.
it was the beginning of my sleep haunted by nightmare.
it was my first experienced learning how to make fake smile
it was my first experienced knowing what is "divorce"

Someday someway
Together we will be baby...
The love we had together
Just fades away in time
And now you’ve got your own world
And I guess I’ve got mine
But the passion that you planted
In the middle of my heart
Is a passion that will never stop
Thank you Michael Learns to Rock,
I'm gonna learn to shed tears
i'm gonna learn to cure trauma
i'm gonna learn to wash my brain
and get a life :)

candu

kamu
candu
yang pernah hadir dalam komposisi nafasku
yang menyapa malamku
kamu
candu

Apa artinya hitungan waktu?
detik menit jam bulan tahun
apa arti tindakan dari pemikiran?
Apa arti aksi dan reaksi?

Kini.
Mimpi milikmu sendiri.
Jangan ingat aku yang mencandu.

You are my insanity and that's why i leave you. Yet, you are my happiness and that's why i need you to finely alive

There were so much times you left me down. But always, what remains more is every little time when you bring me high.
There were moments that cannot count, when you make up your all night with your friends and left me alone waiting you. There were moments that cannot count when you were driving yourself all year long by drugs and left me cry until dry... And even after i left you... U just made a moment driving drunk to strand yourself lying in hospital and make my entire life get loss. But still, whenever moment comes to only you and me, it's immortal.
Somehow, insanity is immortal. As if, how i falling even more in love with you...when i make you hate me. Like when i cry myself hurted by you...and it also make you hate me. Like when i left you...by knowing i just simply left all my soul in you.

I want nothing more by turning my cry into prayer, but for you to get well soon.

When you're lying in there then i realize, happiness is just when u are alright

Aku selalu bertanya d mana 'bahagia'?
Aku sering tertawa, pernah jatuh cinta, gembira, berhasil, mencintai, dan dicintai. Tapi di mana 'bahagia'?

Tawa dapat hilang dlm sekejap, gembira hanya tercipta seperti sebuah kesempatan, keberhasilan hanya seluas check point, mencintai kadang berbuah kecewa. dicintai kadang terasa hambar.
Aku percaya 'bahagia' tidak berlangsung sesaat, tidak hanya muncul dlm kesempatan, tidak tergantung oleh kemenangan, tidak mati dlm tangis, tidak pernah terasa hambar.
'bahagia' seharusnya hadir di setiap saat; di saat tawa, tangis, dan diam. 'bahagia' harusnya tidak hanya di saat gembira; gajian, ulang tahun, dapat bonus, cuti, atau promosi jabatan; tp juga di saat tidak sedang mengalami itu semua.
'bahagia' harusnya mengiringi perjuangan, menemani kemenangan, dan memeluk kekalahan.
'bahagia' harusnya bukan kasmaran. Karena dia tidak hanya ada di saat jatuh cinta, tapi juga di saat jenuh. Tidak hanya ada di saat katakata manis menggoda, tapi juga di saat-saat yg mengesalkan. 'bahagia' harusnya membuat cinta yg ada tidak pernah terasa hambar, tapi menciptakan perasaan kaya yang konstan.

Aku percaya 'bahagia' adalah sepanjang masa.

Di mana 'bahagia'? Aku tidak tercipta dalam kebadian. Aku tidak hidup dalam sepanjang masa.

Apa artinya aku tidak bisa 'bahagia'? Apa 'bahagia' hanya ada setelah aku mati, karena aku diajarkan bahwa setelah mati, ada keabadian. Apa 'bahagia' tidak ada di dunia, karena dunia tidak sepanjang masa?

Malam ini, di tengah doaku akan kesembuhanmu, aku berjanji pada Tuhan, tidak akan lagi mengejar 'bahagia'. Aku berjanji, aku akan benar-benar berhenti.

Karena... Sebenarnya aku sudah dikenalkan pada 'bahagia'. Aku telah berpurapura bertanyatanya, di mana 'bahagia'. Aku berpurapura mencari, karena aku ingin memiliki. Aku memaksa dgn mendalih kehendak Tuhan; bahwa 'bahagia' dikenalkan padaku, agar kumengerti, bukan kumiliki.

Bahagiaku, adalah kamu.

Tuhan menunjukkannya di saat aku tertawa, menangis, marah, berhasil, gagal, kesal kecewa, berharap, memaki, dan memelukmu. Tuhan telah menunjukkannya padaku, dulu. Tuhan telah mengenalkanku dengan kamu, bahagiaku.

Aku berjanji, malam ini, pada Tuhan, untuk berhenti mencari. Aku berjanji, mulai malam ini, hanya akan inginkan kebahagiaanmu. Hanya inginkan kehidupanmu. tidak perlu hidup bersamamu. Aku cukup mengenalmu, bahagia-ku.

Aku berjanji pada Tuhan, untuk hidup bahagia sepanjang masa-ku, dalam rasa syukurku telah mengenal,merasakan,kamu-bahagiaku.

Aku berdoa akan kesehatan dan kebahagiaanmu, sepanjang masa-mu.

Aku tau, bahagia itu abadi.
Aku tau, bahagia telah kumiliki di hati, bukan di langkah kaki.
Aku tau, bahagiaku, kamu.

Aku berjanji takkan mencari lagi. Aku berjanji akan menjaga dlm hati.

My Happiness doesn't have to be living with me, My Happiness is simply here, as long as you are finely alive.